


Three's a Crowd

by toushindai (WallofIllusion)



Category: Baccano!
Genre: Gen, baccanoweek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-02
Updated: 2016-09-02
Packaged: 2018-08-12 14:03:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7937482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WallofIllusion/pseuds/toushindai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Huey doesn't know why he's making dinner for Elmer and Monica.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three's a Crowd

**Author's Note:**

> If you squint really hard at the middle section, you _might_ be able to spot the "light or dark" theme while the trio's talking about whether any of them are good people... eh, just humor me and say you can see it. This got away from me a bit.

“I don’t know why I’m making supper for either of you,” Huey remarked coldly as he chopped beef for the stew.

Without looking up from his task, he could imagine Elmer’s bright grin. “Well,” the other boy answered, “Monica lives at the patisserie, and we don’t want to draw any attention from the woman she works with. And we’re not gonna have much luck setting up shop at Speran’s mansion. Maybe if we were girls, but not as two guys and his little sister. Right, Moni-Moni?”

Huey glanced away from the meat for a second and tried to sneak a peek at Monica. He still didn’t understand what was going on with her relationship to the count and wanted to know how she would react to Elmer’s tactless remark. Unfortunately for his curiosity, she was not, in fact, reacting to Elmer’s tactless remark and was instead watching Huey. She blushed when their eyes met. Gritting his teeth, Huey looked back down.

“That’s why you keep coming over here,” he acknowledged, “but that doesn’t explain why I have to make food for you.” He threw the meat into the pot and reached for the carrots next.

“I can help chop, if y-you’d like?” Monica offered.

Huey shook his head. “I’ve got it under control. And anyway, you brought those pastries over. Elmer’s the only one who’s really useless.”

“Are you saying you want me to chop instead?” Elmer piped up.

“I’m saying _I don’t want you to be here_.”

He shot Elmer a glare. It had no effect; Elmer just shrugged, his grin unshaken.

“Alright. But it’s not like we forced you to buy the ingredients, you know. We all decided together that we were gonna get some work done tonight, and it was your idea to have something to eat rather than head straight to the hideout! So I guess you’re making supper for us because you were hungry to start with?”

Huey chopped the carrots, refusing to dignify Elmer’s analysis with a response.

Elmer snickered and turned to Monica instead. “He went quiet, d’you think that means I’m right?”

No response from Monica either. A quick glance revealed that she was sending a chilly glare Elmer’s way.

“Whoa, scary! Sorry, I should know better than to ask you to side against your crush~”

That shook Monica up; her face turned pink and she sent a frantic glance at Huey before stammering out, “E-Elmer, n—don’t _say_ things like that—!”

“Why not? He already knows, right? You’re among friends here!”

To that, Monica only squeaked, burying her face in her hands, most likely overcome by the thought that Huey might consider her a friend. Which he didn’t. She and (to a _considerably lesser extent_ ) Elmer may have been his allies, but Elmer was the only person who thought there were any feelings of friendship between the three of them. Because Elmer’s optimism regularly reached delusional levels.

But for some reason, Huey didn’t feel like explaining all of that again today. Instead he finished chopping the vegetables as silence reigned between the three of them.

No one spoke until all the ingredients were in the pot and the stew was set over the fire. Then Huey turned to the two of them. “That’ll take a while yet. Shall we get to work?”

But Monica had unwrapped the pastries she’d brought and offered one to Huey. “Want to eat dessert first?” she suggested, her cheeks again dusted with pink.

Huey looked at the pastry for a moment before taking it with a shrug. “Sure,” he said, “I guess we might as well.”

Monica’s response was to smile.

*

“Oh, right, can I borrow some of your cash?”

Huey turned away from the pile of money he and Monica were counting with a very obvious _why are you still here_ look on his face. “What do you want with it?”

“One of the former slave kids is having a rough time. His name’s Dominic. I think a little spare change would cheer him up!”

“So, you don’t want to borrow it. You want to take some and use it for your own selfish purpose, with no particular intention to return it.”

If Elmer realized that was an accusation, he didn’t seem troubled by it. “Well, that’s what I said at the start, isn’t it?” he pointed out through a grin. “That’s what you agreed to.”

It was, in fact, exactly what Huey had agreed to. His mouth pinched in a frown, he sent a quick glance at Monica, wondering if she’d back him up even when he was clearly the one reneging on his offer. But she was looking at him already, and she answered his glance with an expression of wry sympathy. Also by turning red. Huey looked back at Elmer.

“You’re not going to make me explain the fundamentals of economics again, are you? You should know that a single payment isn’t enough to get someone out of poverty. Especially with what I’m doing to this town.” He sneered. “People who thought that would help them were the first ones to fall under my control.”

But Elmer’s eyes lit up with delight. “Hey, you’re smiling! Moni-Moni, look! It’s a real one!”

Huey’s face fell back into a scowl instantly. “I’m smiling at the thought of ruining people’s lives. Don’t look so smug!”

“But it’s such a neat smile. Right, Monica?”

Monica’s eyes were shining as she looked from Huey back down at the money. But of course _she_ liked his smile. Apparently she hated everyone as much as he did, and for some reason she exempted him and loved him instead. Considering those premises, she had every reason to be fond of a smile that hatred the world. It was just this damn Smile Junkie that Huey couldn’t make sense of.

Huey narrowed his eyes. “Do you ever stop to think what our classmates would think of you if they heard you talk like this? They think you’re just a class clown. They’d be repulsed if they knew how dark and selfish you are.”

Elmer nodded. “I know. That’s why I don’t tell ‘em, right? But you two like me better this way. Or ‘hate me less,’ if you’d rather admit to that.”

“I’m not admitting to anything,” Huey said coolly.

“Oh, come on. Would I be here right now if I were just the class clown?”

Obviously not. There was no need to spell that answer out.

“Besides,” Elmer continued. “We’re all Mask Makers, right? You and Monica aren’t honest with the class, either.”

“But we don’t pretend we care about them.”

That was Monica, raising her head to peer at Elmer. Her face was serious and analytical.

“You pretend you want what’s good for them, Elmer, but in the end you only care about seeing their happiness for yourself. Huey and I may act pleasant, but no one thinks we actually care about them.” Then she reddened and glanced at Huey. “S-Sorry, I shouldn’t speak for you...”

“No, you’re right,” he assured her. “Everyone sees me as standoffish at best, and I don’t think anyone thinks they’re close to you. But they think Elmer is their friend.”

“I am their friend.”

Huey scowled. “You’re a monster preying on them. Do you even know what friendship feels like?”

“Not a clue,” Elmer answered cheerfully. “But isn’t it having fun together and caring about each other’s happiness? I think I qualify. I do care about their happiness. I care about everyone’s happiness.”

“That’s _all_ you care about,” Monica pointed out.

“Yep!”

Huey turned roughly away from Elmer, his patience spent. “I don’t know how any of them stand him,” he muttered, to Monica but loud enough for Elmer to hear. He expected Monica to shrug in agreement, but instead she lowered her eyes to the coins on the table and fiddled with them. Whatever. It didn’t matter. Huey returned to dividing the coins into neat piles of ten in a few blessed moments of silence.

They didn’t last.

“You’re worse than standoffish to me, though.”

Huey resisted the sudden urge to dash a handful of coins to the floor. Instead he stood from his chair, slowly, and turned to face Elmer.

“Do you ever stop and think about what that says about how _obnoxious_  you are?” he demanded. “I find you _literally_  intolerable. You’re the last person in the world I want to interact with.” 

Still grinning, Elmer raised a smug eyebrow. Huey knew what he meant by it. He meant that despite Huey’s obvious disdain for Elmer, Huey still let him come here. Still let him be involved. Implied was the question, _why?_ , and Huey didn’t know the answer, and that pissed him off. The fact that it got a rise out of him made him even angrier. Elmer was insane, and Huey didn’t understand him, and if he could just ignore him things would have been easier but he couldn’t stop being curious.

“I’m starting to wonder if you’ve _always_ been this unbearable,” he said. “Did you aggravate your parents, too? Maybe that’s what happened to your back!” 

Silence, then.

Huey shut his mouth. He’d spoken the words before he’d realized he was thinking them. He could feel Monica’s eyes on him, wide and surprised, and he was suddenly remembering the scars on Elmer’s back far more vividly than he cared to. 

Elmer was the only one who didn’t seem shaken by the sudden accusation. He continued to smile, leaning back against the wall. 

“That’s not what happened, actually,” he said. “But I can tell you about them if you want, I don’t mind.”

“No.” Again Huey’s mouth moved on its own, his very body rejecting the idea of hearing more about those scars. He didn’t want to know. He wanted— “I want you to leave,” he said. “Go home.” 

Elmer didn’t even pause before shrugging. “Alright! See you in class tomorrow,” he said, and then he left the room. Huey heard the stairs creak as Elmer descended them; a moment later, the front door opened and then closed again. Huey sat back down in his chair. His heart was pounding. Damn everything.

And of course Monica was still here, watching him. Was he supposed to put his empty smile back on for her? It wouldn’t fool her. He didn’t need to fool her, not really. But his petty anger at Elmer was… _embarrassing_ , honestly.

“Huey?” she asked in a small voice.

Huey made his face blank and looked at her. “What is it, Monica?”

“Do you want me to go, too?”

She looked sad. She looked shy. She looked like she understood why Huey was uncomfortable and didn’t want to add to his discomfort.

He didn’t want to admit that he was uncomfortable to begin with, but the alternative was to send her a meaningless smile, reassure her that everything was fine, and then sit together in an extremely unpleasant silence until she really did have to leave for the night.

So he inhaled, exhaled. Let the corners of his mouth turn up wryly. “Yeah, could you? I don’t really want to be with anyone right now.”

“S-sure, no problem.” Monica stood and brushed off her dress. Then she looked straight at Huey. “Um,” she squeaked, “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay, Huey?”

“Yeah, see you tomorrow, Monica.”

And then he was alone.

…Alone with a pot of stew that was supposed to feed three people.

Goddammit.

*

“Did he kick you out too?”

Monica wasn’t really surprised to hear Elmer’s voice before she’d gone even half a block. She glanced his way as he fell into step beside her.

“Why are you still hanging around here?”

“I figured you’d be on your way out, too, so I thought I’d walk you home!”

She frowned. “You know I don’t need protection, don’t you?” she pointed out, her voice taking on a slight edge automatically.

“Yeah, yeah, I know! I just thought you might like some conversation.”

From Elmer? Not really. She could stand to listen to him prattle on sometimes, but not when she’d just left Huey’s home. Her mind was on him right now, and she had no interest in changing that.

But she said none of that out loud, and Elmer continued to walk beside her, despite the fact that the manor was in the opposite direction. After a few minutes passed, Elmer spoke up.

“Does it still bother you that Huey’s so pissy with me?” he asked.

Monica frowned. That was the one thing about Huey that she preferred _not_ to spend too much time dwelling on.

But she didn’t get to talk about this with anyone else, so she sighed.

“It’s not the irritability,” she said. “It’s the fact that he’s _honest_ with you, and started being honest with you right away. He was still trying to be fake with me even when he told me about what he was doing to the city…”

“Which you already knew.”

“I did. But it wasn’t even until you showed up that I was forced to tell him that.”

“And now here we are!” Elmer exclaimed, either oblivious to her displeasure or trying clumsily to alleviate it. “He’s honest with you now, you know.”

“He is.” He was, and that warmed her heart every time she thought of it. Still— “He got there with you first, though.”

“But he likes you better.”

Monica shook her head. “He doesn’t like either of us, Elmer.”

“Fine, fine.” Elmer waved his hand dismissively. “If you’re right and he hates us, I still say he hates us in a different way than how he does everyone else. Right?”

Monica opened her mouth to protest, then shut it again. She did agree with that, actually.

“ _And_ ,” Elmer continued, grinning, “he dislikes you less than he dislikes me!”

“Elmer.” Monica stopped walking and turned to face her classmate (friend?). “Stop, okay? It’s all right. It’s okay if he hates me. I love that about him, too. So you don’t have to comfort me.”

All she needed from Huey Laforet was for him to exist.

For him to prove that a person could feel that much hatred without shattering, without someone coming to destroy them.

She just wanted to watch him, and to help him have his revenge, and to be seen as a part of the world he inhabited. Even if that meant he hated her, it was worth it to be honestly seen.

But Elmer hadn’t lost his cheeky smile, and he put his hands on her shoulders. “Moni-Moni,” he said, utterly serious despite the ridiculous nickname, “my dear Moni-Moni, I’m glad you’re easy to satisfy, but _I_ want to see the biggest smile you’ve got, and that’s why I want you to listen to me: Huey dislikes me more than he dislikes you. He _said_ so. Didn’t you hear it?”

“…What do you mean?”

“He said to me, ‘You’re the last person in the world I want to interact with’! In other words, he’d rather interact with you!”

Monica felt a blush come to her face.

He _had_ said that. He had.

And then she thought back over the conversation, and her brow furrowed. “…Wait.”

“Hm?”

“When you pointed out how rude he is to you… were you trying to get him to say something like that? …For my sake?”

Elmer’s grin grew, and he gave a triumphant chuckle through his nose. Then, without another word, he threw his arm over her shoulder and walked her back to the patisserie.


End file.
